Blog Archives
Cheat Codes: Homemade Fry Batter (For french fries, mac ‘n’ cheese bites, onion rings, and others!)
It seems to be a fact of life that everybody loves fried foods. Obviously, they’re not the healthiest choice of dining out there, but in fairness fried food at home isn’t the same beast as fried fast foods. Making your own treats at home in heated oil is generally okay since you’re using fresh vegetable or canola oil, it hasn’t been lying around all day, and is free of impurities. You can drain your foods more easily, making them less greasy and retaining less fat. In short, if you enjoy fried, salty snacks then you’re much better off making your own since your body will thank you for it later. Also not to mention, it just tastes better than the stale, greasy rubbish you’re more than likely to receive from dumpster stores like McDonalds which tend to include hilarious numbers of ingredients and ends up laced with artificial colors, flavors and borderline poison like phosphates. Seriously, their fries can last unscathed for literally years. Open a new tab, Google “McDonalds Fries are indestructible” (preferably with an empty stomach) and enjoy the show, lads.
They probably enjoyed the free publicity, symbolism aside. (French Fry Skull by Christopher Chiappa)
Christmas Cookie Roundup: Make Your Own Yoshi’s Cookies!
T’was the night before Christmas and all through the house, we’re all baking cookies, something something mouse. That was ham-fisted, yes, but I’m pressed for time to attend the annual Italian ritual of attempting to cook enough fish on one given night to cause mass extinction of several species. I hate fish, you see, as does Meg. So naturally we’re making a pizza tonight. Now if I may be ham-fistedly make a random segue…
Anyone remember that video game Yoshi’s Cookie? It was a puzzle game for older game consoles like Super Nintendo and the original Game Boy. It featured you playing as the Super Mario character, Yoshi (a green dinosaur that loves to eat), controlling a field of cookies in which you must line up different versions of the cookies in order for them to be cleared away.
Recipe Time! Pumpkin Bread
Pumpkin bread is a perennial fall favorite of mine. It’s as delicious to smell as it is to eat. It can be nice and simple, or fancy with seeds and frostings and fillings. I prefer mine on the simple side. The fanciest I tend to go is roasted pumpkin seeds on top. I generally make pumpkin bread once a year, either in October or December (not in November…I don’t want to compete with pumpkin pie) and freeze it to enjoy throughout the year.
Behold the mighty pumpkin.
Microwave Popcorn Made Better
Confession time: I’m a procrastination eater. Because you know, you can’t do work if you’re eating. Seeing as how it’s finals time at school, I’m currently doing a lot of procrastination eating in order to put off working on papers. You have to choose wisely in your procrastination eating choices however, since you just want to put off doing work, not put on 20 pounds. One good snack (and not just for procrastinating, just in general) is popcorn. Fresh popped popcorn smells wonderful, and is tasty too. Bonus: popcorn isn’t terrible for you. Using an air popper doesn’t take that long, but it can be surprisingly hard to find a good (and not crazy expensive) popcorn popper, plus, some people just don’t really have room for one in their kitchens. But never fear! It’s easy to make popcorn in the microwave (and I’m not talking about the prepackaged bags you buy at the store).
You won’t need one of these, don’t worry.
Mashed Potatoes Made Simple and Easy. Or Fancy! (But still easy!)
Everyone knows I’m a pretty big opponent of pre-made foods. One of the more common ones is the longtime favorite mashed potatoes. Fluffy, savory delight made of cream and tender potatoes… yet most people make it out of a brownish dust that came out of a box, reassured mostly by the fact it features a picture of the state of Idaho on it. Our better judgment try and tell us no, for mashed potatoes are whipped, creamy goodness, and how could they come from a powder? But our laziness and gullibility force us to buy into the potato dust hype, since as we all know Idaho loves potatoes. They love potatoes.
“It makes greeeat lube.”
Instant mashed potatoes aren’t the worst thing in the world, and I will submit that they get the job done if you’re cooking en masse and don’t have the time to prepare the real deal. But unless you find yourself preparing a potato feast for 50+ people, you really don’t have much of an excuse, since homemade takes about 30 minutes, most of which time is just the potatoes boiling, and you not actually doing anything.
The Poor Couple's Food Guide 
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