The Cereal Report is a column in which PCFG conducts various cereal reviews, of new or limited products, as well as providing brief backgrounds on the cereal. Cereal is delicious and fairly cheap as far as meals go. Everyone should eat cereal!
Fall is on the way, everyone! And with every Autumnal equinox comes a plethora of limited edition pumpkin spice variants of foods. We’ve seen cookies, coffee, drinks, etc… but someone new is taking a crack at the annual craze. This year, we saw the arrival of Pumpkin Spice Cheerios, which if I recall correctly is the first time a cereal brand has harnessed the power of pumpkin pie spice. As always, I’m always a little skeptical of almost all pumpkin spice editions of foods and drinks because it’s such a quick and dirty cash-in, and frequently isn’t even that good.
That said, let’s give Cheerios the benefit of the doubt. Afterall, they’re a venerable cereal that puts on a persona of wholesomeness and doesn’t typically use wacky gimmicks to rope people into buying it.
Full disclosure – this is not the most attractive looking smoothie I’ve ever made. In fact it’s probably one of the least attractive ones. Like, I was actively disappointed in how not good it looked. But fortunately looks aren’t everything. Taste is important too, and luckily it tastes good. While I’d had guava juice in stuff before, I’d never actually eaten just guava fruit before, but I found them when I was at the store picking up an avocado and thus this smoothie was born. The fact that the words “guava” and “avocado” blend together so well is merely coincidence.
Food 102 is a satirical column on PCFG. Do not attempt any of the below directions, as they are not meant to be taken seriously. Doing so may result in low-quality food or possible injury. Do not try at home; you’re gonna have a bad time.
Whiskey is without a doubt the manliest of drinks. It is made from the oak-casket-aged tears of miners and cowboys, and is capable of temporarily morphing human females into males for a short time. You typically see it as an ingredient in mixed drinks since most people are too intimidated to have it straight, save for grizzled folk singers and the Irish. However, if you are willing to give it a go, this timeless spirit of a drink can be well worth your time, should you survive its ingestion.
Many foolish college students and pop singers attempt to drink whiskey irresponsibly, thinking that they are immune to its dangerous qualities. Do not believe false claims from false idols like Ke$ha. If you have never clenched a fist in a mixture of sadness, anger, and disappointment in response to a life-altering tragedy, whiskey will poison you and make you revert to a fetal state. Thus, this brings us to the major question: as a grown-ass adult, how do I drink whiskey properly? The answer may surprise you!
As with most drinks, to initiate the drinking process, you’ll need to begin with a glass.
I have to admit I don’t have a ton to say about the creation of this smoothie. I had a mango left from a dinner I made earlier in the week that was very ripe and needed to be used, and the blackberries were starting to be ripe in Erik’s parents’ yard. I wasn’t sure how the combination would work, but it turned out pretty yummy! I felt like I had to use more honey than I usually do in smoothies, but the blackberries were pretty tart, so that’s probably why. If you have sweeter blackberries you likely won’t need as much sweetener. I have to say, mangos are one of my favorite fruits to use in smoothies. I really enjoy mango flavor, but just eating mangos can be kind of messy and sometimes you end up with mango fibers stuck between your teeth which is incredibly frustrating. Now that I’ve taken up enough room rambling…on to the recipe!
This week’s Smoothie Sunday is a first because it’s main ingredient is a weed. Wineberries are an Asian species of raspberry that after being introduced to North America for ornamentation escaped from cultivation and now just grows in the wild. They can be a bit annoying if they take over your garden, but overall we’re fans of wineberries here at PCFG. They’re smaller and sweeter than raspberries and also free. Obviously when eating fruit found out in the wild you want to be careful that you’re not eating something poisonous, but they have no poisonous look-alikes in North America, so if you find something that looks like a little raspberry growing it’s probably a wineberry and safe to eat.
This smoothie almost didn’t get made this year due to a drought affecting the wineberry output in my neighborhood, and then also a power outage the morning I was planning on making it. But luckily things came together and I was able to make it. It’s really yummy, so if you have wineberries growing by you, I highly recommend working them into your smoothie repertoire.