Author Archives: Erik
The Snack Report: Choco-Chip Oreos
For some reason, limited edition and wacky flavor varieties of foods have become huge in the past few years. I assume it has something to do with the rise of social media since in the past, it was hard to reach any sort of significant audience and national attention simply by releasing a frigging soda-themed breakfast pastry, but alas, welcome to 2016. Hashtags dictate what every idiot does with their day and anything with more than six total fans can go viral in an instant.
One of the brands on the frontlines of this LE bombardment is the venerable Oreo. Nabisco sees fit to release them in every possible iteration you can imagine. While some of them are actually really good, some are overwhelmingly “meh”. The real crime isn’t necessarily trying out new flavor ideas, but really is releasing good new flavors, then taking them off shelves so they can think up new abominations like Swedish Fish Oreos or Limeade Oreos or who the hell knows, maybe Chicken Parmesan Oreos could be on the way.
Today, let’s take a look at their latest cookie mashup, Choco-Chip Oreos.
The Cereal Report: Pumpkin Spice Cheerios
The Cereal Report is a column in which PCFG conducts various cereal reviews, of new or limited products, as well as providing brief backgrounds on the cereal. Cereal is delicious and fairly cheap as far as meals go. Everyone should eat cereal!
Fall is on the way, everyone! And with every Autumnal equinox comes a plethora of limited edition pumpkin spice variants of foods. We’ve seen cookies, coffee, drinks, etc… but someone new is taking a crack at the annual craze. This year, we saw the arrival of Pumpkin Spice Cheerios, which if I recall correctly is the first time a cereal brand has harnessed the power of pumpkin pie spice. As always, I’m always a little skeptical of almost all pumpkin spice editions of foods and drinks because it’s such a quick and dirty cash-in, and frequently isn’t even that good.
That said, let’s give Cheerios the benefit of the doubt. Afterall, they’re a venerable cereal that puts on a persona of wholesomeness and doesn’t typically use wacky gimmicks to rope people into buying it.
Food 102: How To Drink Whiskey Like An Adult
Food 102 is a satirical column on PCFG. Do not attempt any of the below directions, as they are not meant to be taken seriously. Doing so may result in low-quality food or possible injury. Do not try at home; you’re gonna have a bad time.
Whiskey is without a doubt the manliest of drinks. It is made from the oak-casket-aged tears of miners and cowboys, and is capable of temporarily morphing human females into males for a short time. You typically see it as an ingredient in mixed drinks since most people are too intimidated to have it straight, save for grizzled folk singers and the Irish. However, if you are willing to give it a go, this timeless spirit of a drink can be well worth your time, should you survive its ingestion.
Many foolish college students and pop singers attempt to drink whiskey irresponsibly, thinking that they are immune to its dangerous qualities. Do not believe false claims from false idols like Ke$ha. If you have never clenched a fist in a mixture of sadness, anger, and disappointment in response to a life-altering tragedy, whiskey will poison you and make you revert to a fetal state. Thus, this brings us to the major question: as a grown-ass adult, how do I drink whiskey properly? The answer may surprise you!
As with most drinks, to initiate the drinking process, you’ll need to begin with a glass.
The Snack Report: Breyer’s Salted Caramel Ice Cream
Hot on the heels of last week’s ice cream extravaganza, we’ve yet another frosty, creamy delight of a post for you all. There’s only a month left in Summer, and yet so many ice creams to eat… Though to be perfectly honest, I’m not really tethered to foods and times of the year. I have soup and hot cocoa and tea during the summertime if I’m feeling it, and sometimes I can’t help but crave a nice sundae during the dead of January. Unfortunately, most people consider ice cream season to mostly come to an end once October hits, so that’s why we’re trying to cram all our ice-cream-centric posts into this final stretch of Summer. Today we’ve got a fairly unique flavor, Salted Caramel.
The Snack Report: Breyer’s Ice Cream Cake Ice Cream
My name is Erik S. and I have a confession to make.
I don’t actually really like ice cream cake all that much.
There, I said it. I said it, I can’t take it back, and I regret nothing. But before the ice cream heavens rain fiery vengeance upon me, let me say in my defense that while I don’t dislike ice cream cake, I just vastly prefer regular-ass ice cream, and think the cake form is overrated.
Okay, still not good enough? Well luckily, I found some middle ground for everyone out there torn between ice cream and ice cream cake:
The Poor Couple's Food Guide 
You must be logged in to post a comment.