Blog Archives
Pizza Lab #14: Gluten-Free Jerk Chicken Pizza
Pizza Lab is a fun theoretical column in which Meg A. and Erik S. explore their innermost passion for baking and eating pizzas. It exists purely for the sake of experimenting in the kitchen. It may not necessarily be cost-effective everytime, so don’t try this at home kids.
Okay everyone I’m gonna go out on a limb and here and (sarcastically) make a bold statement here… I think the two of us maaay enjoy pizza. Just maaaybe we like pizza a lot. You could pooossibly make the claim we are pizza lovers. Yooou get the idea. Whyyy am I talking like this? Iiiiii don’t know.
Yeah so joking aside, pizza is a God-Tier food. You love it, they love it, we’re obsessed with it. But just imagine, if you will, for a moment that you couldn’t eat pizza. You wanted to, but just weren’t allowed. Misery! But yes there are some people who don’t eat pizza or whom cannot eat pizza for medical reasons. Such a meaningless existence seems empty and futile, and yes you’re right a diet without pizza is like breathing without oxygen. What’s the point? But as you know, there are many people with Celiac disease, possessing an allergic reaction to wheat products. Allergies are annoying, but could they be enough to keep you from your favorite foods? Well considering the reactions for Celiac sufferers range anywhere from stomach cramps to skin rashes to hysterical diarrhea, yeah, they probably are enough to keep you from eating pizza. Fortunately in recent years, gluten-free awareness has risen and more and more food providers cater to those with Celiac.
Erik S. So Pizza Lab is officially one year old now! How exciting!
Meg A. Yup! I feel so proud. I imagine this is what it’s like when your child turns a year old. Except Pizza Lab is way better than children.
Erik S. Yeah, pizzas are inexpensive and you can eat them when you’re done with them. Children feature neither of those perks.
Meg A. Exactly. Pizzas also don’t cry. Which is good, because it’d be incredibly uncomfortable to eat something that’s crying.
Erik S. Uncomfortable, or hysterical?
Meg A. Nonetheless, our pizza this time was a bit different than usual, and for good reason.
We Can Do it Better: Brownie Brittle
Okay guys, admit it, you knew this was coming, right? As soon as I said in my review of Brownie Brittle that it’s good, but expensive, you knew we’d be figuring out how to make our own. In reality we’ve been planning this even before I wrote the review article. What really pushed us over the edge into finally making it was when got our hands on the salted caramel flavor Brownie Brittle and were incredibly underwhelmed. We knew we could do it better, and now you can too!
The basic idea was just to make a brownie batter and instead of baking it in a pan, spreading it really thin on a baking sheet. In order to do this you need to have a baking sheet that has a rim, like this:
The rim will make sure your batter doesn’t go all over the place and burn in the bottom of your oven.
Cheat Codes: Pizza English Muffins
It doesn’t exactly take a genius to realize the two of us love pizza. It’s a weekly ritual for us, and Pizza Labs are a highlight of every month. But sometimes there isn’t pizza dough on hand. Sometimes going out for pizza isn’t realistic. Sometimes you need to get creative. And today was a perfect opportunity for doing so, considering Long Island has been blasted with a snowstorm for the umpteenth time this winter.
Naturally I found myself craving pizza, not having eaten any in five days, but didn’t want to risk driving through six inches of wet, sloppy snow in my hilarious PT Cruiser. What is a man to do?
No, no, not quite that.
Mashed Potatoes Made Simple and Easy. Or Fancy! (But still easy!)
Everyone knows I’m a pretty big opponent of pre-made foods. One of the more common ones is the longtime favorite mashed potatoes. Fluffy, savory delight made of cream and tender potatoes… yet most people make it out of a brownish dust that came out of a box, reassured mostly by the fact it features a picture of the state of Idaho on it. Our better judgment try and tell us no, for mashed potatoes are whipped, creamy goodness, and how could they come from a powder? But our laziness and gullibility force us to buy into the potato dust hype, since as we all know Idaho loves potatoes. They love potatoes.
“It makes greeeat lube.”
Instant mashed potatoes aren’t the worst thing in the world, and I will submit that they get the job done if you’re cooking en masse and don’t have the time to prepare the real deal. But unless you find yourself preparing a potato feast for 50+ people, you really don’t have much of an excuse, since homemade takes about 30 minutes, most of which time is just the potatoes boiling, and you not actually doing anything.
Pizza Lab #10: Apple Crisp Pizza
Pizza Lab is a fun theoretical column in which Meg A. and Erik S. explore their innermost passion for baking and eating pizzas. It exists purely for the sake of experimenting in the kitchen. It may not necessarily be cost-effective everytime, so don’t try this at home kids.
It’s interesting to think there’s been ten Pizza Labs already. One a month, and we’ve got plenty more in the pipeline, trust me. That brings me to our first Fall-themed Pizza Lab! One of my favorite Fall foods/crops is apples. And actually not just Fall-wise, apples are some of my favorite food period, since they’re a delight to eat. A good apple is crisp, sweet, refreshing and juicy. Eating one is so frigging good that it’s basically like eating and drinking at the same time, considering how juicy and pleasant they are compared to some of your less juice-filled fruits (I’m looking at you, mangosteen). One perennial apple dish we all enjoy this time of year is none other than apple crisp, a delicious baked amalgamation of oats, sugar, spices, and apple slices. Which incidentally sounds way too much like some sort of stupid autumnal nursery rhyme adage, but I digress. This was the perfect opportunity to try and bring apples and pizza together in some holy-ass food matrimony.
Erik S. So we have been pretty much drowning in apples lately.
Meg A. That we have. Though I think “crushed by” is the more appropriate term since we didn’t make enough cider to drown in. But I’m pretty sure a sink full of apples would do some damage.
Erik S.This is true. And all being said, I’m not complaining either. Apples are my favorite fruit afterall.
Meg A. They are really yummy. Though actually, we had the idea for this pizza way before the onslaught of apples occurred.
Erik S. Yeah it’s going way back actually. This pizza was conceived in thought back when we were discussing our pretzel pizza.
Meg A. Yup! I’m really glad we saved it for its own pizza though.
Erik S. Yeah, it was a long time coming since apple season was months away at that point, but it was worth it. I am definitely spoiled, having an apple tree in the yard.
Meg A. You are very spoiled. Some of us actually have to leave our driveways to go get apples.
Erik S. Well I also don’t eat apples the rest of the year, so it balances out.
Meg A. I suppose.
The Poor Couple's Food Guide 
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