Blog Archives
Pizza Lab #13: Pesto Green Pizza
Pizza Lab is a fun theoretical column in which Meg A. and Erik S. explore their innermost passion for baking and eating pizzas. It exists purely for the sake of experimenting in the kitchen. It may not necessarily be cost-effective everytime, so don’t try this at home kids.
With the holidays finally over, everyone is finally back in gear, with it being the third week of January. Here at Poor Couple’s Food Guide, we’re back at work in our secret laboratory churning out awesome recipes for everyone to enjoy. That’s not to say we took an entire break over Christmas! It wouldn’t be a month without Pizza Lab, and as such we made one for both experimentation of using green-colored cheese, as well as to give us something edible in the Italian-American seafood onslaught known as Christmas Eve. Winter can be tough, and January is a relatively crummy month since it’s host to blizzards, long periods of days below freezing, and post-Christmas bouts of depression. If you fall into the latter category, then we have a month-late surprise to cheer you up!
Disclaimer: I swear to God this isn’t lettuce, it’s cheese.
Cheat Codes: Homemade Fry Batter (For french fries, mac ‘n’ cheese bites, onion rings, and others!)
It seems to be a fact of life that everybody loves fried foods. Obviously, they’re not the healthiest choice of dining out there, but in fairness fried food at home isn’t the same beast as fried fast foods. Making your own treats at home in heated oil is generally okay since you’re using fresh vegetable or canola oil, it hasn’t been lying around all day, and is free of impurities. You can drain your foods more easily, making them less greasy and retaining less fat. In short, if you enjoy fried, salty snacks then you’re much better off making your own since your body will thank you for it later. Also not to mention, it just tastes better than the stale, greasy rubbish you’re more than likely to receive from dumpster stores like McDonalds which tend to include hilarious numbers of ingredients and ends up laced with artificial colors, flavors and borderline poison like phosphates. Seriously, their fries can last unscathed for literally years. Open a new tab, Google “McDonalds Fries are indestructible” (preferably with an empty stomach) and enjoy the show, lads.
They probably enjoyed the free publicity, symbolism aside. (French Fry Skull by Christopher Chiappa)
Cheat Codes: How To Microwave Bacon (And why it’s better that way)
Bacon is overrated. I’ve said it once before on here, and I’ll continue saying it until the day I am unable to eat food anymore. It doesn’t go great in your Frosted Flakes, it won’t cure cancer, it’s not this magical essence that the past decade of internet stupidity have built it up to be. For whatever reason people have selected this one tasty food out of literally thousands upon thousands of foodstuffs and to sloppily obsess over it for the rest of eternity. The salty snack has been thrust into and out of the limelight here and there, appearing in the odd recipe here and there, like cupcakes or other breakfast treats. But soon it got out of hand. Meals made almost entirely of bacon became a thing. Bacon novelty bandages were create. Bacon t-shirts. For some reason everything needed to be made of bacon and then somewhere around the year 2010 some asshole decided bacon-flavored lube was an idea, and it’s been downhill ever since. Do I hate bacon? No. I merely hate the culture and humor surrounding it. Nothing besides puppies wearing costumes deserves that amount of attention, and on top of that, it’s kinda bad for you. The former can’t be helped since idiots and the internet are things, but the latter can definitely be remedied somewhat.
To be fair, puppies and the internet are also things too.
The Cereal Report: The Return of Fruity Yummy Mummy
So Halloween is less than a week away, and spirits are high, so to speak. I can’t say whether to take that literally or metaphorically since I feel it could be misconstrued that ghosts are smoking pot. That’s entirely possible, though I’m not sure whether they’d be potheads who smoked so much weed that they continued to do so in the afterlife, or if they’re just really stressed out ghosts who were recently hooked up, in which case they’re probably the most laid back, least effective ghouls in the history of monsters. Regardless, what I meant to say is that most people I know enjoy Halloween, and those who don’t will probably be brutally murdered on the night of, for not believing or something like that. As such, it’s high-time for another Monster Cereal review which I hope will find you in due time, since these cereals will be off shelves again soon. Admittedly I’m getting kiiinda sick of them personally since it’s been my breakfast nearly everyday since late September, but hey, ’tis the season. Let’s take a gander at the final lot of the group, Fruity Yummy Mummy.
I didn’t write “The Return of Fruity Yummy Mummy” in the article title to be dramatic. That’s literally the official name of the cereal now.
The Cereal Report: The Return of Fruit Brute
I’ll be the first to admit I’m a big kid at heart. Not quite a manchild, on account of the negative connotation it brings, but I do spend the majority of my free time playing video games and watching cartoons. A good example of this reigns in my recent discovery that Monster Cereals were back in stores for the season. After a particularly gruesome ambulance call, I departed the fire department when getting home, and needed to deposit money into the bank. Immediately following this I saw the Halloween section of Pathmark and proceeded to buy three boxes of cartoon-monster themed cereals, since that’s what all people working as first responders do after leaving work. I also bought a Super Mario Bros. game too, but that’s just pouring it on at this point. You get the idea.
It helps me unwind. That and whiskey. Preferably together.
Interestingly enough, after resurrecting (no pun intended, I swear) Frankenberry and Booberry a few years ago, General Mills brought back Fruit Brute and Yummy Mummy for this Halloween. That’s fairly awesome for all of us people born after 1984 when it was discontinued. So pull up a chair and feel important! This is the first time in almost three decades Fruit Brute has been on shelves.
The Poor Couple's Food Guide 
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