The Cereal Report: Peanut Butter Toast Crunch
One of the greater tragedies of the last decade was the loss of one of my favorite cereals, French Toast Crunch. It was still around at first, it just just wasn’t the same, having its formula changed drastically several years ago, and finally being discontinued since the new formula was shitty. Since then I was very skeptical towards any of the Toast Crunch cereals, sort of aloof and even somewhat protesting of them. That is, up until I read that General Mills was bringing back Peanut Butter Toast Crunch, which existed many years ago for a short period of time, and which I had never been able to try. Considering Meg and I love peanut butter enough to have covered it in Midnight Snack already, you can imagine my elation upon finding this bad boy in stores once again.
As per Wikipedia, Peanut Butter Toast Crunch was first introduced in 2004, and discontinued shortly after for whatever reason. I can’t imagine why, since people like peanut butter a lot. Perhaps they were just too intimidated to go to cereal-war with Quaker. Afterall, they possess a formidable naval force in the form of Cap’n Crunch’s Peanut Butter Crunch. Whatever the reason, PBTC disappeared for quite a while until present day 2013 where it was reintroduced into American stores under the same name. Hopefully it sticks around this time.
Peanut butter cereals hold a special place in my heart, not just because I love peanut butter enough to both eat it straight out of the jar and involve it in romantic activities, but also because of all the various cereal archetypes out there, it’s one of the few that actually tastes like what it’s supposed to be. Honey nut cereals taste like neither honey nor nuts, and Cookie Crisp falls idiotically short of trying to capture the feel of a real cookie. Peanut Butter Crunch however distinctly tastes like peanut butter. And that’s pretty good considering the somewhat terrifying ways that cereals are produced in today’s factories. People like the taste of taste, so having your peanut butter cereal taste like real peanut butter is a triumph for modern society.
Peanut Butter Toast Crunch meanwhile holds this tradition up, having some of the best PB flavor I’ve tasted in any cereal ever. The taste is the focus of the cereal, without any unneeded sweetness or sugary flavor to hide it up. It’s borderline salty, that’s how awesomely much it tastes like peanut butter. This all being said, you damn well better like the taste of PB, otherwise you’re not gonna enjoy Peanut Butter Toast Crunch at all. Like its predecessors, the only problem you can run into here is the fact that PBTC gets soggy incredibly quickly. Like, within five minutes. So no taking your time with this one, gents. Pound that cereal down like a man, and get the hell out the door to whatever super-adult job you work at after eating a cereal with a cartoon baker on the box.
One pro to throw onto Peanut Butter Toast Crunch despite the sogginess flaw, is that even when soggy it still retains its peanut buttery flavor, unlike Cinnamon Toast Crunch which tends to be nothing more than a bowl of soggy, brownish scabs floating around in milk halfway through consumption. It’ll still be gross to half-chew your way through the mushy squares, but you can at least take solace in the fact it’ll continue to taste yummy.
Peanut Butter Toast Crunch holds up well against other peanut butter cereals it competes with. It retains the flaws of its cereal family, but that can’t be helped. Cinnamon Toast Crunch is certainly legendary in reputation, having been around for nearly thirty years, but PBTC is a strong rival/companion to it. It’s just a shame General Mills refuses to make their toast cereals in the form of little bread shapes like they did with original French Toast Crunch. It can’t be helped. Regardless, definitely buy some if you like peanut butter. And if you like novelty, eat it with a slice of real peanut butter toast alongside it. And if you like hedonism, do both while you and your lover are covered in peanut butter.
Should you eat Peanut Butter Toast Crunch?