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The Snack Report: Brownie Brittle
After a month of eating Christmas cookies, I’m sure everyone is tired of them by now. No? Yeah, I’m not really either…but it’s still nice to have some variety in your sweet snacks, right? So what should you turn to for cookie respite? How about some Sheila G’s Brownie Brittle? The snack up for review today falls into the, “why didn’t I ever think of that?” category. Brownie Brittle is so simple, but so tasty. It’s pretty much exactly what it sounds like – super flat, crisp brownie broken up into pieces like brittle. It also has chocolate chips in it.
Apologies in advance – all the pictures are yoinked from the web, I forgot to take pictures myself before finishing them.
Midnight Snack – Chocolate Pudding
Midnight Snack is a recurring column focusing on “food for couples” so to speak. Its discussion may hint towards the use of foods during romance and intimacy, and though it contains nothing sexually explicit, reader discretion is still advised. And by all means, DO try this at home, folks.
Of all the foods associated with romance and lovers, none can compete with the almighty chocolate. Known for its ability to release endorphins in your body and generally taste freaking awesome, there’s a pretty large consensus on the planet that chocolate is wonderful! And this is all coming from me, a self-professed not-that-big-a-fan of chocolate. I enjoy it and it’s yummy, but I’m not the kind of person who can literally eat it all day while simultaneously losing it, at the thought of doing so. My point s that even those amongst us who don’t particularly obsess over the divine fruit of the cacao plant will still admit it’s very tasty, and will enjoy some good-quality chocolate with the best of ’em. But no, you probably think you know where I’m going with this article, being a Midnight Snack post, and thus about romance and such. However an entry about covering your lover in melted chocolate is far too easy and predictable (as predictable as a food-romance-crossover column can be). Rather, the two of us wouldn’t settle for plain old chocolate, but instead for the more, in some ways infantile, in some ways lavish, chocolate pudding.
Everyone, start your best Bill Cosby impressions. We know you got ’em.
Snack Report: Knockoff Kinder Eggs
One of my favorite Youtube channels out there belongs to techie/comedian Stuart Ashens. When people ask me to describe what he does in videos, the best I can do is sum them up as “He’s this funny British dude who reviews terrible things.” The things in question are usually various gadgets, video games, and PC hardware, which while nerdy yes, I must indulge, however he also frequently does videos on food items as well. And I use the term food loosely, since they’re generally prepackaged items sold in the U.K. equivalent of dollar stores. While most of these focus on horror cuisine, once in a while Mr. Ashens will do reviews on genuinely nice items he found/had mailed to him.
America and Britain, the most beautiful form of unrequited love – hate relationship.
And yes, though it’s typically much funnier watching him ingest decade-old gummy snacks or canned mystery meats, and hear his grizzled, British wit in the commentary, the nicer foods sometimes are interesting and informative. Several months ago, I learned of Kinder Eggs through his reviews. These are chocolate eggs with a capsule inside, containing a small toy/prize. Aimed at children, but made by the ritzy, Italian confection company Ferrero, they’re a neat concept that I had never seen or heard of in my entire life.
Oh and they’re totally illegal in the United States.
Guys, Homemade Chocolate Chip Cookies Really Aren’t That Difficult
Let me take you back in time a bit. It’s the year 1950. Truman is President, your only fear is Communism, and everyone has a bar in their living room. It was a simpler time. Maybe not necessarily a better time, since my main segue here involves the classic stereotype of the kitchen housewife. Obviously women’s rights weren’t exactly at the forefront of society at the time, but one thing they did right back then were the old standby dessert favorite, chocolate chip cookies. You could always count on mom, apron and oven mitts in hand, to bake you a batch of these on any given day, on a whim, whenever the hell. They’re easy to make and the closest thing to pure comfort existing in a physical state.
Fast forward, and it’s the ’90s. Everybody skateboards and wears sunglasses, and Princess Diana died or something. Everyone is too radical and busy to make chocolate chip cookies anymore. By now, Pillsbury, Toll House, and other baked goods companies have had pre-made cookie dough batches on shelves for some time now. While certainly convenient at first, the taste and texture lacks any freshness, and overall just feels rather generic.
Annnd now it’s the ’10s. Most people are fat, and Toll House recently invented one of the laziest cooking products in history: pre-made, pre-portioned, pre-cut chocolate chip cookie dough. Everything is done. You literally drop them on a tray and bake them. They go from package to your stupid fat mouth in 10 minutes. Slackers everywhere rejoice, for some reason!
Yup, this all looks totally legit homestyle.
Cheat Codes: Microwave Chocolate Lava Cake
So one of the things I missed out on in college was that whole ‘college life’ lifestyle. Being thrifty and living off of your meal plan and surviving with your school chums off what you had. I commuted to a school I hated, and so as soon as class was over I bolted home as soon as physically possible. One of the stereotypes I never got to enjoy were those adorable little lava cakes you make in the microwave. Because of this, I recently began looking up instructions for them online, and then decided to make my own much-needed revision. I say much-needed because most of the sites I’ve seen these posted on insist upon the use of self-rising flour or arbitrary measurements. Seems the makers of those recipes haven’t put together the foreign concept that baking a cake in your friggin microwave generally implies you can’t be bothered to know that self-rising flour is an actual thing. Not to mention, anyone who actually owns a bunch of self-rising flour probably has the means to simply make a pan of real brownies or molten cakes. Either way, here’s what I’m talking about.
The Poor Couple's Food Guide 
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