Blog Archives
Cheat Codes: How To Microwave Bacon (And why it’s better that way)
Bacon is overrated. I’ve said it once before on here, and I’ll continue saying it until the day I am unable to eat food anymore. It doesn’t go great in your Frosted Flakes, it won’t cure cancer, it’s not this magical essence that the past decade of internet stupidity have built it up to be. For whatever reason people have selected this one tasty food out of literally thousands upon thousands of foodstuffs and to sloppily obsess over it for the rest of eternity. The salty snack has been thrust into and out of the limelight here and there, appearing in the odd recipe here and there, like cupcakes or other breakfast treats. But soon it got out of hand. Meals made almost entirely of bacon became a thing. Bacon novelty bandages were create. Bacon t-shirts. For some reason everything needed to be made of bacon and then somewhere around the year 2010 some asshole decided bacon-flavored lube was an idea, and it’s been downhill ever since. Do I hate bacon? No. I merely hate the culture and humor surrounding it. Nothing besides puppies wearing costumes deserves that amount of attention, and on top of that, it’s kinda bad for you. The former can’t be helped since idiots and the internet are things, but the latter can definitely be remedied somewhat.
To be fair, puppies and the internet are also things too.
Getting the Most Out of Ingredients
When you don’t have handfuls of money to throw at things, it’s generally a good idea to use all of something that you’ve spent money buying. For some things this is easy to do. Any pantry staple you buy and then just keep in said pantry until it’s used up. For other ingredients though it isn’t so obvious, and a lot of times you end up throwing things out. I’m going to give you some hints on how to use up less obvious leftovers.
Making Your Own McMuffin
They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day. The problem of course is that it comes in the morning, and no one likes mornings. The fact that brunch and brinner (breakfast for dinner) are things is proof that people love breakfast foods, just not in the morning.
Generally in the mornings you tend to sleep as late as possible, then run out the door, neglecting breakfast and just grabbing something on the road on the way to your destination. Unfortunately, a lot of times “grabbing something on the road” means stopping at a place like McDonalds and getting something like an Egg McMuffin. Which is fine if you enjoy getting 87% of your daily cholesterol intake and 33% of your sodium intake down in your first meal of the day (you can see for yourself if you don’t believe me). Also, your eggs will look like a hockey puck.
I can practically feel the spongy texture of the eggs from here.
But what if I told you, you could make your own version of an Egg McMuffin (I call mine an Egg MegMuffin, but I realize that won’t work for people not named Meg) at home in under 10 minutes? Surely you have 10 minutes to spare right? It’ll be worth it, I promise.
The Poor Couple's Food Guide 
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