The Snack Report: Quaker’s Safari Animals Oatmeal

In Meg and I’s ongoing quest to pretend we’re adults, we continue to fail in glorious, brilliant, new ways, ranging from tickle fights that lead to broken noses, to cookies ending up in someone’s underwear. This last week however we had another sterling display of why we’re both mentally 8 years old. While preparing for a party we were throwing, we ended up running late. In the process of buying some last minute groceries for said party, we walked into a store and told ourselves “Okay. We’re gonna be late for our own party. Let’s make this quick; we can’t get distracted.”

About two minutes in, we ended up sidetracked in the cereal aisle marveling at Batman VS Superman cereals, and then were stopped dead in our tracks mesmerized because there’s a new version of that dinosaur oatmeal, now featuring safari animals.


Editor’s Note: Meg has a Master’s degree from a top-ranked art design school, and I am certified by the State of New York to purchase dangerous chemicals and transport dying people to hospitals.




You’ve gotta sympathize with us a little, though. Like, come on. That dinosaur oatmeal is really friggin’ cool. You pour hot water in and dinosaurs magically hatch from eggs before your eyes. What’s not to like?

Okay admittedly, this oatmeal makes a little bit less sense. Dinosaurs hatch from eggs. We all know that. Why are they in your oatmeal? That’s an argument for another day. But let’s be real here. Aside from ostriches, there’s absolutely no safari animals that hatch from eggs. From what I can tell, the animals featured in this oatmeal are hippos, zebras, giraffes, and possibly lions. And yet, there they are, hatching out of magical oatmeal eggs, here. Admit it. It’s so batshit ridiculous that you have to love it.


This oatmeal makes zero sense, and that’s part of why it’s secretly brilliant. But there’s more to food than just irony. I actually didn’t know Quaker made strawberry instant oatmeal, so this was a nice surprise. We’ve made homemade oatmeal with strawberries in it before, which was great, but at the same time it didn’t feature miniature animal pieces.


Before opening, you’re privy to some low-ball ecology trivia and jokes which I’m really unconvinced that any child could ever find amusing.


Maybe this one isn’t technically a joke. Maybe it’s a serious statement, since antelope are pretty fast animals.


But enough about the package. Let’s talk about the actual oatmeal itself. It’s instant oatmeal, so it’s not the greatest, most wholesome food on the planet, but it works in a pinch fine enough. The ingredients are par for the course, not the healthiest, but could be worse, and not an overwhelming amount of sugar either, which is good. That’s to be expected though, you can’t expect something that’s “instant’ to be particularly high quality, but it does get the job done.



As you can see, the little animal shapes are pretty whimsical and cute. The oatmeal actually does taste pretty good too. The strawberry flavoring is pretty apparent, though I don’t think there’s actually any strawberries to be found, which is a shame. (Again, this is instant oatmeal.) I do actually really enjoy the taste of it still. It’s pretty standard as far as Quaker’s instant oatmeals go, only it has eggs that hatch into safari animals.


Or at least I think these are safari animals…


Quaker’s Safari Animals oatmeal tastes good, makes for a quick little breakfast, and is pretty cheap. If you’re the type of person who appreciates the efficiency of instant oatmeal rather than high-quality ingredients and organic stuff, it’s right up your alley. Plus, come on, it’s just soooo cool. Look at the little animal things! Awesome!

Should you buy Quaker Safari Animal Oatmeal?


(provided you buy instant oatmeal)





Posted on April 11, 2016, in The Snack Report and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. I guess they had to still use eggs since tiny uteruses (uteri?) melting away into animals in your oatmeal is pretty unappetizing. Haha.


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