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Pizza Lab #2: Souvlaki Gyro Pizza

Pizza Lab is a fun theoretical column in which Meg A. and Erik S. explore their innermost passion for baking and eating pizzas. It exists purely for the sake of experimenting in the kitchen. It may not necessarily be cost-effective everytime, so don’t try this at home kids.

So it’s looking like Pizza Lab managed to snag a second edition after all. Considering the effort that went into the original, we weren’t sure if we’d be up to a second one. Nonetheless, the first one received a decent number of views, which goes to show you apparently if you post something pizza-related on the internet, it will receive attention. That, and also come on, it’s friggin pizza. We couldn’t let ourselves be too lazy to make pizza together! Oh but where was I, this edition we made a pizza based on the idea of gyros.

Souvlaki Gyro Pizza

Gyros are a delicious, albeit misnomered, staple of Greek-American cuisine. Meats and vegetables served in a pita wrap and slathered in one of the most ironically delicious sauces on the planet, considering tzatziki’s appearance. Authentic gyro in Greece doesn’t necessarily need to be served in a wrap, since it actually refers to the style of broiling an enormous block of meat on a long, narrow tube-like cooker called a spit (cue penis jokes). The meat, usually lamb or chicken, is shaved off into slices, and basically tastes like something that should gross you out but is somehow delightful. In America, where the gyro pita has become synonymous with Greek restaurants and diners everywhere, we simply refer to anything involving a pita rolled up as a gyro. It’s not technically correct, but who the fuck cares, no one’s capable of arguing when they have a mouthful of sweet, sweet spit-meat (again, penis jokes). Souvlaki on the other hand refers to any meat seasoned with lemon and Greek spices, then skewered and grilled. But whatever, this is getting too in-depth and technical for something that appears side-by-side pictures of video games and half-nude anime girls. You all know what a gyro is.

Erik S. So we actually were talking about this idea for a while right?
Meg A. Yeah. I think the day you had that really crappy gyro the idea of a gyro pizza came up.
Erik S. Oh right, you mean the pile of onions which may or may not have contained traces of chicken and pita.
Meg A. Yes, that.
Erik S. Following this, we began craving gyros like a couple of manic, pregnant, Greek women, only without the excess body hair and fetus.
Meg A. Well… without the fetus at least, haha.
Erik S. Uh… yyyeah.

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