There’s not a lot of universal truths out there. It’s hard to make grand, sweeping statements that are actually true. And most professional writers and college professors will tell you the worst way to begin a piece is by doing basically what I’m doing here, but hey that’s besides the point. Anyway, here goes.

I venture to say, every single person under the age of 50 has eaten a Rice Krispie Treat, in America. Really. Come on, how can you not have? They’re a snack/dessert fixture for everyone. For many kids, that’s their first venture into the world of cooking, due to the overwhelming simplicity of them. Three ingredients, no knives or sharp objects, very little heating, and no complicated cooking involved. Everyone has to have had at least one in their life at some point.

Naturally, it’s about time we turned them into a pizza, don’t you think?

Rice Krispie Treats are one of my favorite dessert snacks. The original concept for this pizza basically came out of the fact we hadn’t made them in a long time. As we pondered the idea more and more, we thought of how we could feasibly do this. Would we just make a giant krispie treat crust, and then put stuff on top of it? Could we get away with just crumbling rice krispie treat pieces on top? A preliminary concept even involved cream cheese icing in addition to the marshmallow. Eventually we settled on using the marshmallow mix to fulfill the sauce role, and thought up some toppings that go with puffed rice.

The marshmallows were melted in accordance with standard recipes, though the actual ratio was tweaked a little bit to accommodate usage on a pizza crust. As always, the crust was par-baked since dessert toppings tend to cook very quickly, and wouldn’t survive the 15 minute cooking time needed for a standard pizza. We gave it our customary baking soda wash too, to give it some nice brown-ness and flavor, plus a nice brush-down with butter.

Once the pizza crust finished cooking, we added the marshmallow mixture, plus the cereal, and made a nice little bed of gooey, Rice Krispie goodness…

Also, while we’re on the subject, did you know Rice Krispies cereal isn’t even made of real puffed rice? It’s actually made of crushed up rice made into a batter. That’s kind of shitty, but since it’s an essential ingredient in Krispie Treats, I’ll let it slide…

We tried to think of what sorta toppings would serve the pizza well. Rice Krispie Treats have a lot of varieties, including peanut butter, chocolate chips, butterscotch, and others. You also see a lot of homemade treats featuring M&Ms and other candy. We almost went the M&M direction but figured it might seem a little… I dunno, juvenile? Maybe that’s not the best word, since we’re essentially a pair of big kids… but you get the idea. Unprofessional? Maybe that’s more accurate. At any rate, we figured chocolate chips would make a nice garnish, and that some sort of fruit would be a little more impressive. Namely, you see strawberries floating around in rice cereals alllll the time, so why the hell not?

Long story short, the pizza turned out great. You could taste the marshmallow mixture and the krispies in every mouthful, but it didn’t overwhelm the rest of the pizza. Bites featuring the strawberries and chocolate added nice variety, especially the berries since it gave a nice tart counter-taste against the onslaught of delicious, creamy sweetness.

An interesting note is that the marshmallow mixture actually resembled cheese more than anything else we’ve ever put on a dessert pizza. In its melted phase, it got stringy and clingy much the same way that melty cheese on a regular pizza gets. Seriously, if you saw it from far away you could definitely mistake it for the real deal. (Obviously, the strawberries, chocolate, and cereal would probably give it away, but that’s besides the point). Overall, we both really enjoyed this pizza, if nothing else, because it was really creative and unique. Despite the obscurity of dessert pizzas, much of our dessert latest works in the field have made “sense” in their own way. They’ve been tending to be pretty exact copies of their un-pizzified selves. Yet this pizza tasted just enough like Rice Krispie Treats, but was different enough to be its own thing too. It warms up well, and can work well as both a dessert and breakfast slice. What more could you ask for?

Rating

Crispy, Sweet, Pizza Treat