The Cereal Report is a column in which PCFG conducts various cereal reviews, of new or limited products, as well as providing brief backgrounds on the cereal. Cereal is delicious and fairly cheap as far as meals go. Everyone should eat cereal!

Frosted Flakes is cool. It’s a classic cereal that’s been around since the 1950s, it tastes good, and it’s pretty decent for you. I always liked that it’s sort of the meeting point between adult cereals and kid cereals, since it looks like a boring grown-up cereal, but it still has the yummy sweetness for all those of of us who don’t find cardboard and twigs to be particularly appetizing. Since they’re so successful, and considering their longevity, I sorta hold them in this legendary realm of God Tier cereals, ones that have been around forever, taste good, and are pretty much good on their own without need for tweaking. Very rarely does Kellogg’s release modifications or limited editions of Frosted Flakes, so when they do it’s a big deal. The last couple of iterations, Chocolate Frosted Flakes and Frosted Flake Gold (basically honey flavored), were interesting takes but ultimately fleeting. It’s been a while since their latest special edition.

“A Challenger Approaches!”

Frosted Flakes Energy Clusters had me excited. At the risk of sounding like, well, a granola guy, I really love me some granola. It has a nice, rough texture that really makes chewing feel like you’re accomplishing something. None of that petty, effortless bullshit you get with plowing through white bread and ultra processed foods. Granola makes you work for your delicious food, and I do like a challenge. And lo and behold, this cereal is basically Frosted Flakes with granola clusters in it. Awww yeah, I like where this is going!

Here’s the good news: as said, this cereal is just Frosted Flakes, but with granola in it. The bad news is that stupendously, somehow there’s very little granola in it. All the clusters are very small, and beyond that they’re few and far between. Most spoonfuls I’ve had were basically just a mouthful of Frosted Flakes. That’s fine, but it’s supposed to feature granola chunks. I want granola! WHERE THE FRIG IS THE GRANOLA?!

No one has ever been this angry about granola before.

Obviously I’m playing it up for the sake of drama, but really. Everytime I’ve eaten this cereal, I’m really disappointed in how little granola clusters I actually do get. It’s not bad, per se, it’s still just Frosted Flakes, but if I wanted just the plain cereal I could’ve bought it. I can’t get too down on it either, since Frosted Flakes inherently do taste good and function as a near-perfect cereal.

Aside from the lack of its advertised granola clusters, everything else about the cereal works like regular Frosted Flakes. It tastes subtle and yummy, it gets soggy rather quickly, and it’s not overly filling. The little bit of granola I did get was pleasant, but it just makes me want more. The cereal milk is good, as Frosted Flakes always is, so no complaints there. I want to give them the benefit of the doubt and just say maybe all the granola fell to the bottom, but I’ve hit the bottom of the box and it’s just the same. There’s a little bit more of it, but it’s all tiny little pieces and scraps that are no good. But honestly, there’s no real reason to get this over regular Frosted Flakes. Also, as far as the “energy clusters” go, I assume that was simply for the sake of buzzwords and because stupid little kids think granola is gross. I didn’t find myself feeling more energized than usual… though considering the absolute dearth of the aforementioned granola pieces, who the hell knows. Maybe they managed to invent some sort of super miracle food that can power the human body for a full day with just one bowl, but felt like the world just wasn’t ready for it.

Should you buy Frosted Flakes Energy Clusters?

No

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Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes with Energy Clusters, 12.1 Ounce

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