So what is Pizza Lab you ask? It’s exactly what it sounds like. Meg A. and myself don some labcoats, lock ourselves in a laboratory with pizza ingredients, and go balls to the wall until something amazing happens. Well, at least that’s how it goes down in my head. More realistically, it was the result of us wanting to make pizzas together, never having done so. So we devised the idea of Pizza Lab, a column in which we brainstorm the most random pizza abominations which, as far as we know, don’t really exist in the mainstream pizza industry. The results are recorded (with an expensive, enormous camera) and then discussed here. Essentially we just remark on whether it was edible or not, and if it’s worth actually making again. Without further ado then…

Honey Mustard Chicken Finger Pizza

This is exactly what it sounds like. Any diner, food franchise, bowling alley, family restaurant, snack truck, rest stop, and planet in the freaking solar system serves chicken fingers, and you love them. Even you too, vegetarians. Deep-fried, battered chicken tenderloins, served with ketchup and/or honey mustard. In this case, sliced and thrown onto a pizza with the aforementioned honey dijon in place of tomato sauce. The combination of salty chicken and tangy mustard results in a pizza that’s almost sweet enough to be served at dessert. On second thought, it’s better than dessert. If someone told me I could only have a slice of red velvet cake, or this pizza, I’d take the pizza (not withstanding that I could simply break their shins and take both).

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